by Katherine Cioch
When I found out that I was awarded a Fulbright Full Research Grant for 2009-10 in Poland, I could hardly wait to begin my work on a subject that had interested me for so long: human trafficking from the former Soviet republics to Europe and beyond. Eager to get to work, I had to arrange my housing and other practical issues, so that I could then concentrate on my research.
Since I had little first-hand knowledge of living in Poland, I thought that the best way could be to turn to relatives, my extended family whom I barely knew but who, as soon as they heard of my plans, offered their help to get me set up. One especially promising lead was my Aunt Danuta (actually my father's distant cousin). Another lead was Marlena, a family friend, who was working and studying in Warsaw and eager to have me room with her in the apartment that she was renting.
When I arrived in Warsaw on September 14, I was greeted at Frederyk Chopin airport by Aunt Danuta, whom I had never met before. I was received warmly and taken to her apartment in Żoliborz, a nice district in northern Warsaw. Although I was exhausted from my transatlantic flight and asked for some time to nap, my Aunt persisted in showing me Polish hospitality to its fullest. She served an extravagant Polish meal and began making arrangements to secure me housing, a cell phone, and sightseeing around Warsaw. I had come equipped with my own ideas concerning the above, but my voice was drowned out by my eager-to-help Polish relative. I found it difficult to deal with my Aunt's "I-know-best-and-must-take-care-of-you-because-we're-related" demeanor, and found time and again that I was having decisions made for me.
I experienced the same sort of situation with my other contact in Warsaw. I had known Marlena as a child, spending time with her for a brief period when I was on holiday in Poland with my family. I did not know what to expect of her as an adult, but was pleasantly surprised by her warm and convivial disposition. However, despite being only a few months older than I, she had the same tendencies as my Aunt. Declining any sort of help was nearly impossible, and I was left frazzled by the situation in which I found myself. Both my Aunt Danuta and Marlena were trying to make decisions for me in terms of what they thought was best for me with housing and other areas of life, each wanting to make things easier for me by helping me to save money.
For the first few weeks I alternated living with my Aunt or Marlena but neither arrangement was what I wanted and having my needs taken seriously was a feat. How would I learn to be self-reliant when someone was insisting on holding my hand through everything? How could I make clear my wishes without seeming ungrateful? I know they meant well, but I craved the independence that the Fulbright program offered.
Having been raised in a Polish-American family, I thought I would easily adjust to the cultural differences between life in North America and life in Poland. However, the transition was more difficult than I had anticipated. After nearly two months, I suddenly identified an important cultural difference between North America and Poland: whereas North Americans highly value their independence, Poles value family over individualism. The concept was so simple, but so very important to understand. Once I realized this I began to understand other cultural nuances more easily, and in turn, react more appropriately. I have since become adept at going my independent way without offending someone who wanted to help me.
Now, as I walk along the Warsaw streets toting heavy IKEA bags, I breathe in the crisp, cold November air and, despite the bitter weather and difficult conditions, I can't help smiling as I stand outside the door of my very own apartment in downtown Warsaw. I had found the kawalerka(studio apartment) completely on my own, according to my own specifications. But first, I had to find an appropriate way to handle two different cultural ideals. CR
Photo: Krakowskie Przedmiescie by Pawel Kabanski from creative creativecommons.org
Katherine Cioch earned a BA in political science and a BS in psychology as well as an MA in international and comparative politics, all at Loyola University in Chicago. She is currently spending a year in Poland on a Fulbright Research Grant. Her proposed research focuses on human trafficking, a complex, international phenomenon that has grown exponentially with the increase of globalization. Katherine seeks to investigate and evaluate the role of the La Strada Foundation Against Trafficking in Persons and Slavery, a Polish NGO dedicated to combatting and preventing human trafficking in Poland.
